Thriving Through the Thirties

I’m the last person you’d think of for styling advice. I’m not suggesting that I walk around looking like a homeless person. Nope! I’m also not one of those minimalist fanatics who only wear two colors at most. Instead, I’m one of those discreet individuals who tend to gravitate towards pastel colors and the simplest patterns. I adore looking all put-together, but I struggle to define my personal style with a specific adjective. What I do know is that when I was growing up, I had a deep appreciation for the corporate style. In our final year of high school, my best friend and I had grandiose visions of wearing blazers, pencil skirts, and suits every day. She went on to fulfill that vision as a lawyer, while I spent approximately thirteen years in a field where casual attire was the norm.

However, fast forward to late 2020, and I found myself purchasing more trousers, blazers, and silk shirts. I can’t quite pinpoint whether it was me finally deciding to dress how I’d always wanted to, or if it was due to the pressure of turning thirty. Because, let’s face it, your age does influence your clothing choices, right? “Dress your age,” some say. But how do you balance that with expressing your true style—the things you genuinely want to wear—without being overly concerned about your age?

We’ve all seen influencers making bold fashion choices, looking stunning in the process. We secretly wish we could pull off those looks too. Then we quickly remember that most of these ladies are in their early twenties or even younger, and we are taken aback. As much as we want to feel sexy and liberated, we also don’t want to appear as if we’re trying too hard to look younger. Seeking professional guidance is an option, but it often demands a budget not everyone can allocate. And let’s be honest, this can be a hit to the ego, as style is often considered “innate” – you either have it or you don’t.

Fortunately, I found a way to work around this. As part of my MasterClass subscription in 2022, I enrolled in Tan France’s class on style for everyone. While my capsule wardrobe may still lack a few pieces, I’m proud to say that I’m making progress. I also had the opportunity to work with certified style coach Iris Duhamel for my book show, where I picked up some valuable tips. I now read her blog and faithfully follow certified image consultant Irma Mars Candio on YouTube for additional tips. I humbly suggest you do the same if you feel like you could use some guidance in this field. Meanwhile, you can read below for insights from conversations I had with these two remarkable women about navigating style and societal expectations as we age.

When working on a proposal for a client, Duhamel takes several elements into consideration, such as the client’s personality, preferences, and lifestyle. She also factors in their body shape, the colors that complement them the most, and their social and professional environment. Yet, she emphasizes that “the client’s age is one of the most pivotal considerations, shaping my choices in cuts, colors, and styles to curate outfits that flatter my client while aligning with her age range.”

Irma Mars Candio’s professional opinion aligns closely with Iris’s. Personality, body shape, complexion, age, profession, and even faith are vital elements for her when styling a client. She candidly states that her choices for a client in her twenties will differ from those she’d make for a client in her thirties. Without casting judgment, she underscores that as women age, they should pay attention to how they wear certain pieces such as low-cut crop tops, revealing shorts, miniskirts, tight-fitting pieces, and excessively provocative outfits. As women reach a certain age, they tend to seek elegance, discretion, sobriety, and comfort.

Duhamel, however, takes a more nuanced approach. “I believe that every woman should wear what makes her feel good and confident, regardless of her age. However, it’s possible to choose cuts and styles that accentuate her strengths and maturity at various stages of her life. It’s not about limiting choices but adapting clothing to suit personal style and the evolution of one’s figure,” she explains.

Both stylists agree that a woman’s clothing style undergoes distinct phases over time, shaped by experience and maturation. From their insights, I firmly assert that the thirties mark a particularly splendid phase. “I believe there are phases in a woman’s clothing style that evolve with time, experience, and maturity. In their thirties, many women seek a balance between current trends and a mature, professional style. This is the perfect time to assert one’s personality by choosing clothes that reflect self-confidence and stability,” Iris Duhamel says.

“I generally speak of three main phases that a woman’s clothing style can go through: self-exploration, confidence and self-assertion, and self-affirmation. I would associate one’s thirties with the self-affirmation phase—a time of attaining a certain level of maturity and freedom in one’s style. It’s when you truly come to understand your tastes and clothing preferences. This is the phase when you unapologetically assert and embrace your clothing style,” Candio adds.

As for recommendations, they made it all about expressing yourself. “For a fulfilled thirtysomething woman, I recommend prioritizing clothing quality, investing in timeless and versatile pieces that can be tailored to diverse occasions. It’s crucial to explore and experiment with styles while staying true to your identity,” Duhamel advises.

She also emphasizes the importance of skincare, highlighting the need for a simple yet effective beauty routine tailored to your skin type and specific needs, along with self-care in general. After all, the balance between a good skincare routine, a healthy diet, and regular physical activity is the key to staying youthful and energetic. But that’s a topic for another blog post, which will be coming your way soon.

To that, Irma Mars Candio adds, “Embrace your personal style, express your clothing preferences freely, wear pieces and cuts that complement your figure and make you look your best, choose colors and shades that enhance your complexion, focus on quality pieces and well-crafted cuts, and always create harmony and balance in your outfits.”

So, should you dress your age? I’m not entirely sure I agree with that notion. However, I wholeheartedly endorse embracing maturity, basking in self-confidence, and rocking your clothing preferences.