Thriving Through the Thirties

Entering my thirties has been an intriguing journey. As a seasoned thirty-something woman, I’m still adapting to this new phase of life. There hasn’t been a big “aha” moment or a monumental milestone. Unlike my younger self who had grand plans for “By the time I turn thirty,” I’ve come to understand that thriving in your thirties is not about checking boxes but making daily choices, much like selecting a route during your daily commute.

My current list of priorities includes things like health, self-care, and self-love. Some days I excel in choosing myself; others, not so much. But I’ve learned not to be too harsh on myself. Some days are victories, others are a bit of a miss. The important thing is that every day, I show up and aim for the best.

Today, let’s delve into the significant decisions I’ve made. To be candid, it feels like I’ve made only two major decisions lately, with the first one made last year.

In August of last year, I made the conscious choice to take a break from alcohol. Initially, it was a way to shield myself from drowning in my own feelings, especially when I was, truth be told, sadder than I should have been given the situation. Of course, it took hours of tears and overthinking to arrive at this realization.

Sure, I used to think drinking was fun, and there was a certain coolness in being able to handle your liquor. I enjoyed meeting friends over cocktails, and I wouldn’t hesitate to pour myself a glass of wine at home over the weekend. Then, almost out of the blue, I made the seemingly random decision to quit. It wasn’t even triggered by a dreadful hangover.

I made it through the first weekend, turning down free drinks without a hint of regret. I decided not to set a time limit for my abstinence, and I kept extending the expiration date until it lasted an entire year and a few more weeks.

As I reintroduced myself to drinking, I contemplated what it meant to give up something that had been such a significant part of my social life. That sabbatical turned out to be an incredible experience. It filled me with pride to see that I could make what appeared to be a random decision and stick to it for an entire year. To me, it’s a testament to the respect I have for myself and the thrill of rediscovery.

Up to now, I mostly stick to my bottle of water or my Heineken 00 when dining out or at parties. Because, truth be told, I don’t need alcohol to have a fantastic time. Sober me, as it turns out, is still the life of the party and is more than willing to hit an empty dancefloor and dance the night away. My dry spell taught me that much.

My body, however, is still adjusting to the return of alcohol. Most drinks don’t go down as smoothly as expected. So far, the only drinks that seem to agree with me are champagne (you all know I’m a bit fancy) and Guinness Smooth.

Navigating Social Life Without Alcohol

While I can’t offer tips on resisting the urge to drink (as I never felt it), I’d recommend surrounding yourself with people who respect you and your boundaries. One thing that really touched my heart was how my friends went the extra mile to ensure they had my favorite non-alcoholic beverages on hand whenever they invited me over. I never felt like my sober self wasn’t welcome at any of their gatherings, and I believe I didn’t kill their vibe in any way.

I understand the challenge of staying sober in a world that glamorizes alcohol. I’ve lost count of how many shows and books I’ve seen where the main female character comes home from work and pours herself a glass of wine to unwind after a long day. Here’s a revelation: You can do the same with a glass of water or sparkling water if you desire a twist. The same goes for when you’re upset or angry.

Over the past twelve months, I’ve consumed a lot of water. I’m sure my skin was thrilled. I’ve also tried many mocktails. Funny thing is, I discovered I like my “Italiano” from Portofino better without alcohol. Magdoos also serves up an excellent virgin Lychee Martini. And of course, Heineken 00 has been my trusty companion during this period.

Now that I’ve once again proven to myself that I can commit to my decisions, I look forward to responsibly enjoying an alcoholic drink with a friend, well within my limits. Before I conclude, I’d like to encourage you to challenge your willpower and boundaries every now and then. Make choices that prioritize your peace of mind and well-being, even when they may not align with others’ perspectives and expectations. Most importantly, learn to respect and honor the promises you make to yourself. In a world where betrayal can come from anywhere, never let yourself down.